Photo: Sachin Khona.
We are here to teach what we are learning. Not just what we’ve figured out and crystallized.
What we are scraping at, seduced by, frustrated with, in love with. What we think about in secret. What we worry we will never be good enough at.
That.
That is the thing we are here to teach.
You will never arrive (the mark will keep shifting). So: start writing, recording, speaking, creating. Start showing up. Be honest about where you are. Honesty is the most compelling currency there is. There’s no need to fake it, contort it, half-truth it, or apologize.
You are learning. We all are. That thing you’re obsessed with, wondering about, poking around, saying, “some day?”
No one else sees it the exact way you see it.
It’s been written before?
Write it again.
It’s too scary to say?
It needs your bravery as its vehicle.
Let it be messy.
Perfectionism is just people pleasing in motion.
I know. I spent a great part of my life wanting to be loved. What I really got was lukewarm approval. A renewable contract to be liked.
Liked is not the same as loved. You cannot be loved as a perfectly packaged version of yourself. Admired, yes. Liked, yes. Loved?
That only comes from being you.
All of you.
Messy, brilliant, amazing, vulnerable you.
Let us love you.
And let us disagree with you. We won’t always like what you have to say.
Say it anyway. Stand in the sun of your truth instead of the shadow of someone else’s fear. You cannot grow if you’re constantly bracing for the blowback.
It’s not a fuck you to uninvest in what someone else thinks about you. It’s evolution. Send them love and keep leaning forward.
Try on “I don’t know how this is going to end.” Forget the commas so you can hear the voice of your creativity. Hit publish before you feel ready so you can know boldness in your bones. Let go of that worn out record of “it has to be hard to be good.”
Oh no it doesn’t.
It can be so easy.
So let it be easy. Teach us what you’re learning.
Keep poking at the roof of those made up limitations until you see sky.
P.S. One thing I’m (imperfectly) learning is to share more of me on Facebook. Like my Facebook page for more doses of truth.
Categories: Empowerment
Truth and Cake 
Exactly what I needed to hear today. Thank you Rian.
You’re so welcome. I love clicking on something and finding the exact thing I needed to read that day.
Reblogged this on and so it is… and commented:
A timely reminder (for me) to let go of perfection and share what we know, what we’re learning and doing, now.
This is so great, and really resonates with where I am today. Thank you.
<3
Reblogged this on DE VISITA POR EL MUNDO and commented:
It’s been written before?
Write it again.
It’s too scary to say?
It needs your bravery as its vehicle.
this is very inspiring. I really people were not afraid to be themselves and speak their minds. It is really good that someone knows the way it should be.
I love these thoughts. I’m pretty good about getting messy on FB with observations that might not gel in the minds of my friends and family. I find that if you keep it respectful in all your interactions with people who disagree and throw in humor when it gets intense, you can say what you believe. Thank you for sharing and inspiring us. I will reblog this and spread the love around!
Reblogged this on Rainy Day Writing and commented:
Let’s talk about things without fear and in the spirit of learning/teaching. Thanks to Rian at Truth and Cake for this inspiring post!
I struggle with putting things out into the universe because I feel like everything’s been done. I want to submit a book proposal by the beginning of december, but I hit a wall because as I researched, I felt like everything I wanted to discuss in my book was covered in some form or another. At the same time, I know that whatever has been covered, wasn’t covered by ME with my way of approaching the topic. And I also think a lot about all those who don’t let that feeling stop them and publish what they want to publish because they BELIEVE in what they have to offer. It’s a daily struggle.
Plus, the whole “done is better than perfect” and “done is better than good” is so important. If we wait for things to be “perfect”, we will never get anywhere in this world. Part of the battle is recognizing and accepting that our best is not perfect and that getting the work done is better than getting every tiny little element 100% “right”.
All that to say, I really appreciate you writing that we should teach what we are learning. It’s what we all need to hear!
“I felt like everything I wanted to discuss in my book was covered in some form or another…And I also think a lot about all those who don’t let that feeling stop them and publish what they want to publish because they BELIEVE in what they have to offer.”
This happens to me *all* of the time. I swear I read something daily that I was just thinking about or had already started writing about. I used to think I had to go back to the drawing board and come up with something totally original every time and that if someone else had written about it, they’d think I took their idea. But here’s what was really triggering me: they weren’t afraid to hit publish. They were getting those ideas out there and I wasn’t. Now my goal is to hit that publish button, not get it right. The publish button is where the magic happens. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It’s so helpful to hear what other people are navigating.xx
Perfect! This spoke to my soul and now I’m going to print it and post it at my desk and pass it on to my coworkers. Amazing Piece.
Yes, Yes, Yes! This is beautiful and wonderful. Thank you for always unknowingly knowing when I need this kind of inspiration.
I believe in every word you speck on this post… We should enjoy the life we have because tomorrow is never promised. We should do what makes use happy and not hold back from it… :)
Thank you for this encouragement – it feels so refreshing and freeing!
Thank you for the wonderful post. I really needed motivation like this. You made my day :)
Thank you, Rian. I eat a slice of your well served cake every day!
I always turn to your posts for encouragement. They make me feel accepted and renewed, cracks and all.
You have a powerful blogging voice that I can relate. Thank you and do Show Up again!
“Keep poking at the roof of those made up limitations until you see sky.”
Love this!
Thanks for the reminder.
I admire you. I care about you. And, from what I now read, I could very well love you. Don’t freak…different worlds. It’s just that you are such a much more honest individual now, gorgeous, honest, searching, and telling…now that’s all sexy…
Such an inspiring post, thanks for that!
Reblogged this on SHAMANIC SPIRIT.
Oh, bravery. The hardest of hard. I just started a blog after many, many months of second guessing and self doubt. Your words are inspiring and make me believe that I may possibly reach and even enliven others! Thank you. I will hit ‘Publish’ more often!
Thanks for this post! This is sort of how I use my blog: write about the things I’m learning, and hoping that other people will learn, too.
Thank you for this post! We are all so afraid to show that we are imperfect that we loos our individuality on the way, we need to be brave to show our flaws and our real self. I started to write about my journey and it costs me a lot of courage to share this with others, hope it will encourage a few people to be brave too
Hi there, This is the first thing I’ve read of yours. Awesome and truly inspiring. So much so, I think I need to follow you… uhh… that sounds so stalkeresque, but you know what I mean. I love this post. I’d like to reblog it, if that’s okay with you?
Wow, just simply inspiring and something that really needed to be said. This is exactly what I’ve needed to hear, thank you fpr this magnificent post Rian! :-) Xx
“Liked is not the same as loved. You cannot be loved as a perfectly packaged version of yourself. Admired, yes. Liked, yes. Loved?
That only comes from being you.”
May have to borrow this line at some point. Absolutely love it! If people love the idea of what you are and not what you actually are then you are completely right – they don’t love you!
Very inspiring – get out there, challenge the status quo and do what makes you happy. Exactly the message we need to hear more often.
Is get stuck on the ‘it’s been said before’ thing or sometimes I’ll think that whatever it is I have to offer is already being offered. But then, I realize what I am doing and I remember that even if so, nobody can do it the way I can when I am being true to myself. Thank you for this encouraging post:)