Every now and then, I wake up feeling angsty. Jealousy pokes at me with its thorny little hands. It’s so rare these days but once upon a time it was the norm: that wash of fear and lack of graciousness. I used to stuff it away and ignore it. Nowadays, I celebrate it and lean right on in. I get nice and close so that I can hear what it’s whispering. Wanna know what it tells me?
It says, “This isn’t about anyone else. It’s all you, baby. In this tiny moment, you have forgotten your purpose.”
It’s my uncomfortable, handsy alert system. It’s there to remind me who I am and why I’m here. It urges me to show up.
“Purpose” used to sound like such a grand term to me–intangible and fluffy. I tried to reroute it. I took the practical approach. “If I can figure out what I want to do with my life, then I’ll be happy. I searched and searched. I did the impractical thing (acting) and the practical thing (real estate) and still I felt unsettled. It was like trying on a bunch of ill-fitting clothing, trying to reposition it to look just so. I felt like a total imposter. Because I was. I was trying to do my way toward fulfillment rather than be it.
I read books and spent money on an uninspired career counselor who told me that I would basically never fit in anywhere because I could only do work that I was totally passionate about and that I created myself. At the time, I felt useless. “I will never fit. I will never be happy. I am a rooster among pink flamingos.”
I stalled and doubted myself and thought that other people were so lucky to have figured all of this out at a younger age.
Now, further down the path, I can see the crystal clear truth: most people are trying do purpose rather than be it. I wasn’t alone that entire time. I just thought I was because we humans are pretty skilled at hiding from one another.
That bit of insight I received about passion and creation was actually right on the money. I judged it because I couldn’t make sense of how I would fit into the working world from that place. I hid myself and, as a result, the world couldn’t find me.
Purpose is not separate from us. It’s not a place to get, not a thing to modify or perfect. Wherever you go and whatever you do, you take it with you.
You are your purpose.
You can’t help but be it. The reason most of us aren’t living from purpose is that we’re constantly fighting it, trying to wrap it in a prettier package or a safer one, modifying ourselves to look like everyone else. We want people to like us. We think our gifts should only express themselves in acceptable ways.
I was reminded of this recently while having dinner with a group of women. Someone asked me what I did and I started talking about coaching and writing and purpose. I could feel myself lighting up, expanding, taking up space. And just as quickly, I felt some of the women pushing back at me, shifting uncomfortably, making defensive remarks, nudging me to shrink, as if to say, “We are uncomfortable with you being that big. Please dim your light so that we can feel better about ourselves.”
Once upon a time, the discomfort would have contained me and I would have deflated.
Today, I lean in. I shine brightly. I take up more space.
It is not your job to shrink, to dim, to play nice. It is your birthright to rise and meet others as your whole, fully-expressed self. You are robbing the world of your presence when you do not shine.
Doing from purpose is fluid. It can shift and refine. Your “job” is an expression of who you are, who you can’t help but be. The title doesn’t matter. Being your whole self does. Detach from how it’s supposed to look. Writer, teacher, doctor, coach: these are just vehicles. Your purpose is constant. It remains even when everything around you changes.
Get still and listen. Tune out the noise and judgment. Silence your parents and friends and bosses. Wait for the truth. That one right there. You will know it when it hits you. It will be immoveable. It may even scare the shit out of you. Am I that powerful? That creative? That necessary?
This is purpose.
No one else, no matter how cool or eloquent or passionate, can give the world your blend of magic. No one can speak your words. No one can create what you are here to create.
And so you must.
The world you long for cannot exist without you. You are here to create it.
And if you don’t do it because other people won’t approve or its too risky or you will be slightly uncomfortable? We will lose out on your impact. And that will be a damn shame.
Show us who you are so we can know you. Speak your piece so we can hear you. Make your art because we need to feel it. Be the love you are. Forget the packaging and titles and roles. You’ve been chosen for something greater. Claim it.
I’m taking on
three two clients for a special three-month empowerment program. If your heart’s calling out and you’re really ready to step into your purpose to create a life of abundance, get in touch. We’ll talk.
Reblogged this on Kindredspirit23's Blog and commented:
Wow! You stated it all so very well. I sync with you on this one. I know I am my purpose. God has me here and is doing things with me. I love it. Thanks…
Thanks for sharing, Scott. You are such a beautiful example of showing up as purpose in the world.
Thank you! I love reading your posts, always have.
Beautiful post. It reminded me of someone who told me that it doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you are the person who you want to be. They said to do whatever you have to do to be that person. I think this is important, and I’m glad you shared your thoughts. :)
“do whatever you have to do to be that person.” I love that because it flies in the face of the default approach. You can take out the trash as yourself and have a more profound impact on the people around you than you can managing a group of people as a false, hollow version of you.
Wonderful, as always.
Great post! Thanks for writing such a beautiful piece. Many people can connect to this. Purpose is such a convoluted word and we can complicate it :)
This is beautiful, love it!
Wonderful. Just wonderful. :)
Thank you SO much for writing this. I am two years into my college degree and I’m still undeclared. This post is something I will definitely think back to while trying to make my decision on my major. I love everything about this post!
Reblogged this on Labyrinth.
I learned this lesson the hard way recently when I was so focussed on finding other people to validate my talent and my dreams. I needed the establishment to approve. But when I finally got to where I thought I should be, I was the unhappiest I have ever been in a workplace. For a long time I wrestled with the idea that what I had fought so hard for, for so long, could possibly be entirely wrong for me. While it crushed my spirit at first, I came to realise something – I don’t need anybody to validate what I know in my heart to be the thing that ignites me. I don’t need to wait to come across opportunity, I can actively seek it out (even better, create opportunity for myself) by being more open about who I am and what impact I seek to have in this world. By embracing my purpose, I embrace the possibility for success and, most importantly, fulfillment. Once I decided that – I noticed how many opportunities I had been missing because I’d had the wrong focus.
Amazing words – thank you!
“By embracing my purpose, I embrace the possibility for success and, most importantly, fulfillment.” This x 1,000,000 yes! Thanks for ‘showing up’ here and sharing. You’re inspiring.
Breathtaking cover photo. I am working towards taking pictures like that. :)
Thanks! I have a slight obsession with sun-flare.
This is great! So well worded and it really felt good to read it. I just wonder how to actually find that purpose-what’s my “thing” to be bold about…
I help people discover and own their gifts in coaching. If you feel called, reach out and we’ll talk: http://truthandcake.com/contact/.
Reblogged this on waeldaaboul.
Thank you so much for sharing this. I needed to hear this or better yet be reminded. About a year ago I moved across the country for a work opportunity and while my move/work could not have been a better decision for me I couldn’t help but feel lonely in this new place without the community of friends and support I had before moving. So much of this year I’ve been beating myself up, feeling unlikable, unimportant, and “fighting my purpose.” It’s been only in the recent weeks have I felt like I’m starting to find my way out of this fog and realize that by changing who I am to appeal better to others is denying what makes me beautiful and embrace what makes who I am, me. Thanks for your wisdom. This post was truly inspiring.
Thank you for writing this. 2015 has been a year trying to discover the balance of my creative side with my dominating administrator/responsible side. Half way through the year I think I am beginning to balance it all. Just like you I wanted the creative dream (still do) but life found me in the practical dream and always questioning my purpose. Reading your post makes sense. I don’t need to find my purpose, because her I am, I am my purpose, I do take it with me, at work, when I create…… Wonderful post, has really made me think and I will need to re read your post and message a few times to really see if my mind can adjust to that great way of thinking., Thank you
I just found your blog today and I am so glad I did! It is refreshing to find others of like mind. You speak so eloquently on the topics that I too, am passionate about. You mentioned starting a blog to stop coddling and over-thinking your ideas. That really resonated with me as well as the bit above about sometimes feeling like you had to dim the light. Shine on! I look forward to reading more!
Reblogged this on huongtasia.
“You rob the world of your presence when you do not shine.” I like that!
Excellent post. It struck me hard and enlightened me as well.
I noticed that Indira (https://amaltaas.wordpress.com/) reposted this post to her blog. I wanted you to know that I have added it to my special page of “very interesting posts” with the link to the upper left on my main page.
That’s the first addition in nearly 2 years.
I have four beautiful grandchildren, ages 6 to 11. I’ll be saving this post for them . . . as well as for me.
Reblogged this on The Flowering Side and commented:
Some days we get lucky, and the words we need to hear–or read–just seem to appear. One of the blogs I follow re-blogged this, and there it was in my email this morning. (Thanks, Indira!) I’m saving these words for my kids and grand-kids, and as happy reminder to live deliberately, with purpose . . . and on purpose.
I like this post thanks.
I need this. I just have to find that motivation to be able to become my whole being. I mean, I have ideas and plans but being scared out of my mind is keeping me from doing things I want. Thanks!
Reblogged this on Lowcountry.Felicity.Life and commented:
A timely and insightful post worth reading and rereading!
Hi there! First, I wanted to say that I’m new to this blog. I’ve read a few post of yours and think they’re so relevant and well-written! You talked about being your fully-expressed self in this post, and that’s something I’m trying hard to be when I talk to others. In fact, one thing I’ve noticed is that my blog is very similar to yours in terms of topic. It’s all about finding joy and purpose, and being unique around others. This post specifically reminded my of a blog I wrote about a month about about being an eternal optimist. I would love for you to check it out and let me know what you think of it! Here’s the link:http://www.marsgonemad.com/2015/05/20/i-am-a-pollyanna/
Anyway, I’ll be following and keeping up with your blog!
You are such a captivating and brilliant writer! I hope to read more of your posts! :)
This is a beautiful blog post and I completely agree with what you’re saying. Don’t let anyone else bring you down when you light up. Don’t feel self conscious because they feel uncomfortable. Your passion and expression is an amazing gift and you should cherish it! I strongly believe in that. Be yourself! Check out my latest blog post for more on that subject. And thanks for this great post :)
link —> https://anxciety.wordpress.com/
Woooooow.As a mother to 2 beautiful young boys aged 1 and 3, my constant prayer is that i should be a good parent to them, amongst many things to help them realise their purpose in life as God intended……This article has resonated with me so profoundly.”Truth”, and well articulated as usual……As i trudge along towards my own purpose.Thank you.
Reblogged this on momsandmargaritas and commented:
I tried reading other blogs and really tried to reach out, but this is beyond what I expected. See when I started my journey to find what I needed I had the help of a therapist, family, friends…. but most importantly a life coach! The life coach has been my rock truly through everything and well I can tell you after reading this blog…. I FINALLY AM STARTING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL THE COACH IS SAYING!
armandoon hola tengo una pregunta actualise mi iphone 3g al 5.1.1 y todo iba bien hasta que me salio un mensaje que, para actibar el iphone solo se pueden utilisar las tarjetas sim de un ordenador copintible.maserte la tarjeta sim que venia con tu iphone o visita un local comercial del ordenador compatiblepara cambiar la tarjeta sim. que hago no puedo entrar al iphone nomas se queda en ese mensaje y de hay no sale
I couldn’t currently have asked for an even better blog. You’re always at hand to offer excellent tips, going on to the point for easy understanding of your site visitors. You’re truly a terrific specialist in this subject matter. Many thanks for always being there for folks like me.
Thank you for the inspirational message you have given us friendly bloggers. I want to say that your words and truth have hit right on the money. I am slowly realizing what my purpose is and what it means so thank you again !
Beautiful post. I love it and am so inspired by it. You are so right- we all shine when we are living and talking about our passion. And too many people settle for safe. I’m pursuing my dreams with a passion- it is scary and fun and exhilarating all at the same time. Thank you for sharing such a great message.
Great posts. Great writing. Great ideas. Sexy, self-empowered woman. What more could one want?
I loved this! It really spoke to me! :) Thank you for being your purpose. It really encouraged me. I am so glad I found your blog.
The only world that matters is the one going on within yourself. I loved this post, every now and again I just need a reminder of what I’m supposed to be focusing on :)
A year and a half ago I injured myself at my job and have since had to deal with chronic pain, the realization I have a permanent injury and will always be in pain, and having to find myself a new career with no help from anybody else. Strength comes from within, and I should be proud of myself for being so strong instead of beating myself up, which is what I usually do :)
Thanks again for this great post! If you have some spare time check out my blog. I just came propelling out of a twelve-year writing lull and decided to start a blog. gettingbyonflukes.wordpress.com
Beautiful post! I really love what you said about being your purpose, rather than doing. I feel like I’m constantly trying so hard to will my way in to feeling fulfilled and successful and it just never works that way! Thanks for the reminder to stay present :)
Great post. Show up. Love it. Remember, it’s not just one thing. There is no “soul mate” version of purpose. It doesn’t make sense to worry so about finding your “passion”. https://undisputedorigin.wordpress.com/2015/07/23/heart-work/
This post is exactly what i needed today when i was feeling especially anxious about my career as an artist.It reminded me of why i chose my life in the first place and Im so glad that Ive made the tough but right decision.
Well said! We all live with a purpose, we just have to find out what it is. We should remember not to let anything or anyone hold us back from reaching our goals.
I love your writing :) I needed this right now! Thank you!<3 yazitup.wordpress.com
Reblogged this on Yazitup! and commented:
I just love what it says and how its written <3
Reblogged this on Little Child and commented:
Powerful words, amazing life lessons and a very inspiring story.
Reblogged this on Hey! Daydreamer Ü and commented:
Powerful words, amazing life lessons and a very inspiring story.
Love this! <3 Aleya