Today I had a wake-up call in my long journey in recovering from perfectionism:
Not showing up is such a waste.
A little backstory: I started my journey as a coach a little over two years ago. In that time, I’ve done a huge amount of self-exploration, growth and healing work and I’ve facilitated a lot of growth for others. My feedback has been consistently amazing. When I say I’m good at what I do, it’s not bragging. It’s simple truth. Truth that’s taken me a long time to wrap my heart and soul around. Truth my ego’s had a field day with: stay small, who are you to shine like that? Downplay, downplay, downplay.
But the thing is, we can’t really help people when we’re exerting so much energy to downplay our gifts.
I’ve been working (with my amazing design partner-in-crime) on creating a website for the past year. Yep, a whole year. I’ve changed my mind and hemmed and hawed and rebranded and created more packages that I can even remember at this point. I’m surprised my web designer hasn’t killed me yet.
I’ve been evolving and growing and figuring it all out. And healing. That’s all true.
But I’ve also been selling myself short.
I’ve been hiding.
People come to me. They seek me out. I have amazing clients.
I know who I am and what I have to say. I know my truth. But I’ve just been sort of whispering it. “Hey, here I am. Come find me if you, ummm, want.”
I’ve been minimizing my impact.
This week, I facilitated some really incredible coaching sessions that blew my heart open. And today, I sat down with someone who wanted to know more about starting their own coaching business. As he sat in front of me, I could so clearly see his gifts and I could also, bright as day, see what was holding him back.
He couldn’t see his own brilliance. He wanted to get it right. He needed it to be perfect before he launched.
My heart expanded about ten sizes looking at him. In him, I saw myself. I’m great at guiding others. And still, sometimes my blind spot is my own need to be totally ready, prepared, perfect.
Which, of course, never happens. There’s no such thing. We never arrive at that totally ready place.
But in search of it, we wait. We put our dreams on a shelf. We act invulnerable and think we can do it all ourselves. We pretend we’ve got it handled. We write drafts of things and never publish them. We dream of speaking on a stage and our fear clamps right down on us. We even refuse amazing opportunities because perfectionism tells us we’re not ready yet.
And it’s all made up.
All of it.
As long as our hearts are open, we are ready. As long as we are able to breathe and return to the present again and again, we are ready.
It’s a simple ongoing practice of loving ourselves:
You’re scared and I love you.
You stumbled and I love you.
You are human and I love you.
We are not perfect. But we are great.
Seeing another person potentially put his dream on a shelf today lit a fire in me.
I want to do more. I want to show up. I want to stop waiting for the just right moment. And I want to help you to do the same.
All of those ideas you have? The dreams you’ve been dreaming? Those natural gifts you’ve been sitting on? It’s time to kindle the flame and look at them from a place of love instead of fear and judgment.
It’s my birthday on Saturday. And to celebrate my 34 years of life and learning on this planet, I want to be brave.
So here’s what I’ve decided is the best use of me and my gifts. I’m doing “Pay What you Can” Empowerment Coaching, something I’ve never done before and may never do again. I believe there’s energy created when a lot of people come together at once to make a change. And I want to create a little fire in my corner of the planet, helping people open up to their desires.
That’s the best birthday gift I can imagine.
It’s open for a two week window. One-on-one, over the phone, wherever you are in the world. One hour to explore your power, your gifts, and what’s holding you back. Purpose, love, money, self-worth. Your fear of using your authentic voice. Your freaking shiny brilliance. I want to help you with it. It’s what I do best.
I’ve opened up the free time in my calendar for you. Spots are limited. If this speaks to you and you want to explore with me, book here. Pay what you can. Love yourself into your power. Update: Spots are all booked up. Can’t wait to create some magic.
And here’s my challenge to you, whether or not we ever speak:
Hit publish on that thing that scares you. Make the ask you’ve been afraid to vocalize. Teach yourself that you can live through your vulnerability, that you won’t perish in a blaze of embarrassment. That amazing things might actually come of it. Life changing things.
Don’t worry about being perfect. Just be great. You already are.
With love and courage,
P.S. Booking calendar acting funny? Wanna say hi or happy birthday or ask me a question? Shoot me a message at: hello(at)riankerfoot.com
Photo by The Essence Oracle.