In the first half of “So, You Want to Start a Blog,” I discussed some of the more practical aspects of blogging: preparing for the long haul, honing your skills and getting your work out there. If you missed Part I, you can check it out here. Today I’m going to address some of the stickier, intangible aspects of blogging. The people parts. The idea parts. The big payoff part. Okay, here we go…
Blogging Isn’t Just About You
People start blogs for a variety of reasons. Some people want to promote a business or a book or a hobby. Others want to practice writing on a regular basis. And some people don’t really know why: they just have this vague urge to get out there and figure it out as they go. It’s safe to say that most bloggers are thinking primarily about themselves and their own motives when they start out. That’s only natural. We need internal motivation to kick things into gear and keep us coming back to our blogs. But the irony is that if we don’t venture outside of that mindset pretty early on, we’ll just sit there, talking to ourselves.
Blogging is a social beast. It consists of more than hanging out at a computer and talking at people. If you’re throwing up a post now and then and waiting around for people to find you, you may find yourself waiting a very long time. To save yourself that disappointment, reach out to other bloggers early on. Find a few blogs you like and get involved in the conversation. If you like what a blogger has to say, you may like their readers’ blogs as well. Click through to those and leave comments. But keep the self-promotion at bay. People can sense whether your motives are genuine or self-serving. Besides, if you’re just plastering your links everywhere, you’re missing the point.
Which is to connect.
That may not seem obvious in the beginning; it certainly wasn’t to me. I had to grow into the idea of making meaningful connections online. But now it’s one of my favorite aspects of blogging. Get a headstart. Read just one new blog a day and reach out to that person. You’ll make their day. You may even make a new friend. And that friend may become a subscriber. It really is that easy.
That sense of openess should extend to the content of your blog. It’s fine to have a blog with a purpose. But no one is going to stick around if it’s all “you” and no “them.” Generous bloggers talk about things outside of their business or their book. They provide value to their audience, whether it’s through ideas, information or inspiration.
Give more than you take and you’ll eventually benefit from the boomerang effect.
The Blogosphere is Fickle But You Shouldn’t Be
Some days, you’ll hit it out of the park with your posts. Others, nada. Crickets. I’ve gotten 473 comments on a post and I’ve also gotten 7. I’m not complaining. I was incredibly lucky to have an audience from the start. But it didn’t make my doubts disappear into thin air. The truth is, it made me more afraid of making huge mistakes. I was worried that everyone would notice them. And then maybe everyone would leave. Here are some tips to get you out of that headspace if you’re ever worried about saying or doing the wrong thing.
Be yourself.
People aren’t looking for a carbon copy of the Bloggess. They’re looking for someone who is just as fearlessly, relentlessly herself. Be that person.
Write about what interests you. If it tanks, write about something else that interests you. Don’t apologize for or agonize over an unsuccessful post. Just keep going.
It’s a fools game to constantly try and guess what people will or won’t like. Sometimes people don’t know what they like until you write it and they read it.
And what you write about really doesn’t matter as much as how you write about it.
Work on developing your voice. Ask yourself questions and answer them on your blog. Write a lot. Read even more. Stay curious. Notice the little things. Be confident.
If you’re sassy and opinionated in real life, be sassy and opinionated on your blog. If you’re quiet and introspective, your writing should reflect that. Voice is about viewing the world through your own distinct lens and effectively conveying what that looks like to other people.
Google “blogging advice” and you’ll find a plethora of posts about content creation, methods to stir up controversy for more page views, marketing and branding tips, the best time of day to post, etc. There’s so much noise out there, so many people who claim to have the shortcut to success. By all means, try some of it out if it appeals to you. But none of it will replace the surest ways to a good and successful blog: hard work, good content, and a strong voice.
Sometimes the best advice is to stop taking so much advice and listen to yourself instead.
Blogging Can Change Your Life
I know that sounds dramatic and a tad ridiculous, but it’s true. It all depends on how you use your blog and what you take away from of it. Many people start blogging because they are at a turning point in their lives: on the cusp of a milestone birthday, having a baby, changing careers, moving to a new country, taking a giant leap of faith. There’s a reason so many blogs have themes like these: we recognize that something is changing within us and we want to document it, to form words that will help us make sense of those changes. Blogging allows us to process events in a heightened way and it can also become the catalyst for bigger and bolder change.
Do some of you wonder why your friends and family aren’t as into your blog as you anticipated, yet total strangers seem to get you? It’s natural for people to want those around them to remain the same in order to continue fulfilling expected roles. Those close to us aren’t always comfortable with change and they may not relate to the new ideas we’re exploring. And that’s okay.
The wonderful thing about blogging is that it allows you to set out into unknown territory in search of like-minded people. You may meet someone in Japan or Arkansas who is going through similar changes. The support you receive from fellow bloggers can give you the courage to take risks and do things way outside of your comfort zone, things your childhood friend or mother may not understand. Expose yourself to as many different ideas and viewpoints as you possibly can. You may not be able to hop on a plane and travel to your heart’s content. But, through your blog, you can learn a lot about what people from different parts of the world think and feel. That has the potential to make you a more interesting, compassionate human being. Remember that thing I said about life changing? (And community?)
By exploring ideas and answering questions on your blog, you are teaching yourself who you are and what you believe in.
It’s no coincidence that I started this blog in my 30th year (though I didn’t realize the significance at the time). Today, at 31, I head a little further into the fold of adulthood, still full of big questions, eager for the possibility of one day stumbling upon the big answers.
In what ways, if any, has blogging or blog reading changed your perspective of the world and your view of yourself? Are you more confident? Less judgmental? Any ideas you want to add to the ones I’ve explored above?
*Just a little note: I’m off for some birthday fun today, so I’ll respond to comments tomorrow. Don’t worry, I’ll save you a piece of cake!
Related Posts:
So, You Want to Start a Blog…
Crow, Baby, Crow
Fail Harder
Fantastic as always Rian.
Happy Birthday
xxx
Thanks, Nicole. Love your new blog–you are so talented!
Happy Birthday and thanks for another great and genuinely helpful post : )
Sending birthday wishes your way :-) Great post, as always!
I think, for myself, finding my ‘blogging voice’ was the biggest challenge at the beginning – as a result my poor little blog took some pretty random turns left and right as I toyed with the direction I wanted to go in (reading before writing mighta helped me on this one!) but in the end I decided to embrace the unruliness and let it be a blog of many themes rather than one, as that’s just kinda me…!
Hey Sarah–Thanks for the bday wishes :) I think your description fits the bill for a lot of bloggers starting out. Most of us have to do a lot of experimenting to get to a place where we feel like, *yes* this is my blogging voice. Experimentation is a big part of the fun, and an important factor in keeping things fluid, new, better. Thanks for sharing a bit of your journey. Hope it continues to be a great one.
Blogging has definitely changed my perspective on my own life. It has made me look at the positive side of things and to be more active, try new things and make new memories. As soon as I start to write about an experience, I realize just how rich my life is. Even if only a few people read, each post makes me appreciate all that I have and am able to do and accomplish.
Happy Birthday!
“As soon as I start to write about an experience, I realize just how rich my life is.” I love that. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how we experience things and what makes them richer. I definitely think living an “examined” life heightens our experiences.
I always enjoy reading your blog :). Writing helps me to understand myself – and publishing those understandings in my blog lets me play around with all the fun things on the internet and computer. Sometimes people read about an understanding I have had, and it helps them understand themselves better too. I love that! And my blog is a journal too. Reading and being involved in the blogging community is such a pleasure :),
Yes, what a great point, Sara! I think we often have trouble seeing it that way–that other people are going through the same things we are and will find comfort and meaning in reading about a similar experience. Instead, we often hide the warts because we’re afraid of being judged. If we reframe things a bit, we may grow bolder about what and how we share.
Happy birthday!
Blogging made me realize where I needed to make some changes in my life. I started mine because I wanted a place to openly express myself, and I found that I had a lot of negativity and stress in my early posts. It lead me to reading a book on Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction. It helped in so many ways, being able to be aware of the “now”. It made it easier to see truths in myself and in others. I saw where an unhealthy friendship was dragging me down and reaction habits were helping me cope. After those problems resolved I became a better person and my writing improved and I had more readers, followers, and likes :)
How interesting that your blog became more succesful as you became happier. I think that’s so cool. The fact that you were able to pick up on the negative tone in your posts, investigate the cause and make big changes shows an amazing amount of self awareness.
*weren’t helping
You hit on very many truths here. I definitely started blogging as a personal endeavour and I was struck by the connections, some very unlikely ones, that I made. By writing day in and day out, I have overcome the fear of criticisms, of looking like a fool (which I am sure I have at times) and it has actually opened up a new career path I never expected (or even looked for) at the outset.
I really love your blog and your writing. And, with that, Happy Birthday!
Sounds like blogging has created some huge changes in your life! I absolutely agree that it’s the best way to get over that fear of being judged. Post something not-so-great, well tomorrow is another day! Glad to hear it’s had such a positive effect on your life.
Another great post by you! I was taken aback by the previous one, where you write that most of the blogs don’t make it through first 3 months… You and i started our respective blogs more or less at the same time and i was really happy to realize we both made it! (At least so far lolol – knock on wood! ) I agree it’s the intent that matters – and also, as you say – making it about other people too… Oh, and apropos… Happy BDay <3
Glad to hear your blog’s still kicking. Go you! And don’t knock on wood, just keep on posting ;)
Pretty cool… I never thought of it that way. Thank you.
Oh & happy birthday :-)
Glad I could offer a new perspective. Thanks for the birthday wishes.
Being yourself is key when it comes to blogging – thanks for sharing! Have a Great One:)
Fantastic content, Rian. There is so much “noise” out there about starting a successful blog, but I think you really boiled it down to what’s most important: being yourself. Because if there’s already a “Rockstar Diaries” or a “Bloggess,” why would anyone want to read a carbon copy? If you find a topic unique or interesting, chances are, someone else out there will too.
I think it can be really challenging in the beginning to believe that what you have to say is as cool or relatable as what someone like the Bloggess is saying. But all bloggers begin from (relatively) the same place: with a keyboard and some ideas. We have to give ourselves time and permission to grow into our voices. And, more than anything, we have to believe that what we’re saying is worthwhile. Thanks for the comment, Jorie.
I think blogging sharpens the talons more than anything. It helped teach me to be more succinct. The internet is fast-paced, and otherwise people will move on.
And I have the same problem with busy backgrounds, although it is hard to find the “just right” amount of visuals.
I totally agree–my own writing has become more direct and my editing (usually) more ruthless. Blogging is a great teacher. You either have to drive the message home early or draw people in enough to get them to continue reading something a bit longer. Thanks for sharing!
Well since I put part 1 on my special post page, I will add page 2 to it also. Excellent advice as well as observations. Yes, blogging has changed me; for one, I can’t think of not doing it anymore. The friends I have made, the success I have, the opportunity to voice thoughts, ideas, and opinions are all well worth it to me.
Thanks,
Scott
Thanks for linking to my posts, Scott. I appreciate it. I’m glad to hear that blogging has brought you so many cool things.
Happy Birthday Rian! I wish you well! I hope I had read this when I started my blog. Haha. It would have been very helpful. And I agree, you will learn as you go along and JUST BE YOU is the best message. So you know, you were one of the few bloggers that inspired me to continue with what I have started. Enjoy your day!!! -Guen
Thanks, Guen! I’m so glad to hear you’re still going :)
Your post made me realize one of (maybe the biggest?) reason I started my blog. I am almost 30 wanted to change my life, became single (after a very long relationship I thought was headed to marriage) got my own place for the first time in my life, and decided I’m going to run a marathon! I said I would do it “some day”. Then thought, “why not now?” So I decided to blog about training for my first marathon. It’s been great reading other blogs & having people comment on mine.
Thanks for your post!
Funny how it can snowball like that–one change leads to another leads to another. I’ve definitely experienced that. Glad to hear blogging is providing motivation and support for you. Congrats on the marathon training. I hope you kick butt!
Happy birthday! When I started blogging, I had no idea how much I’d come to value the community; the other thing that has been wonderful is how rich my life feels in that I’m documenting the many small pleasures of everyday. Blogging has been so much more rewarding than I could have anticipated.
Blogging heightens the little things–I like that idea a lot. Thanks for sharing.
Happy Birthday for yesterday! I hope you ate lots of delicious cake. :)
Blogging has shown me that people can relate to what I’m going through and experiencing: the events and feelings others have may vary in context and magnitude…but I have a lot more in common with other bloggers than I have differences. Even though my biggest hurdle of 2012 was relatively mild and niche – dealing with rejections from my first-choice grad school programs – the people who read my blog could emphathise with my feelings of frustration, disappointment and setbacks. And I could empathise and offer sympathy for events in their lives that paralleled my own.
It was easier for me to sit down and carefully write up a blog post perfectly expressing my feelings (and leave it out for people to comment on in their own time) than it was to talk to friends/family/colleagues. Conversations are a jumbled, rushed process: blogs allow more preparation & response time.
Actually, one thing I REALLY love using blogs for is plain voyeurism. I drool and daydream over photography blogs and pretty holiday pictures. I hope some of my own snaps can induce similar feelings in others, which I guess is called ‘passing a good deed along’…
Thanks, Claire–I ate plenty of cake! That’s a great observation–it can be tough to convey what you’re going through (or to reach deeper to see what’s really going on) in a rushed, distracted conversation. I’ve always found it easier to express myself through writing. Sometimes I say the wrong thing, or the thing I didn’t really mean when I don’t have time to process my thoughts and feelings. And I love your comment about voyeurism–I, too, love pretty pictures and can get lost in a good photography blog (or, admittedly, on Pinterest).
Blogging helped me come clean about my dream of being a writer, it lead to me leaving my job and finding a literary agent so it can change your life! Great advice, I think be yourself is the most important part of blogging.
Have a lovely birthday!
Congratulations on pursuing your dreams and landing an agent, Victoria–that’s so great. Thanks for stopping by & for the bday wish!
Loved these two posts. You’re very open about these things and that’s great. I’m still struggling with that. I have too many drafts both on here and in my head that refuse to go further… no I refuse to let them. Working on it…
:)
Hi Richard, thanks for the comment. I definitely know that feeling. I hope you find it gets easier the longer you’re at it. Take care.
Gelukkig verjaardag! (as we say in Belgium). And I like how you slipped that birthday in there!
Our blog was always about trying to connect, at first with people we knew but with whom we wanted to surpass your regular ‘what’s new’ catching up. But we’ve had a few new allegiances (including you) which has made the blogging experience more wonderful. It’s nice to know we don’t just navel gaze, that people take value in what (and how, as you so rightly point out) we choose to write about. It helps me tremendously to have done the blog with a group. We feed each other, and on a cricket day- we know we’re there for each other. And we are connected and obliged to each other.
If anything we want more connection, more voices. And we’re working on that.
Ahh, that birthday greeting is quite familiar! My husband is Afrikaans :) Thank you. You’ve got such a great thing going over at Mother Sugar. How amazing to have that kind of ongoing conversation with friends across those vast distances. I love dropping in and seeing what you gals are up to–it’s always insightful, beautifully written and honest. And you make all of us feel like we’re a part of the conversation, which is so cool.
Happy birthday, Rian!! I hope your day is special!! XO
Thanks, Tobi! I had a great day.
Rian, sometimes you love something and you can’t explain why. It’s the case for me now, I don’t know what more i could add to your post but I just wanted to let you know that i loved part 2 even more than part 1. For me, you’re at your best when you want to help and share what you know. You’re really inspiring- keep it up!
Thanks, Cécile–that means a lot to me. You’re such a great cheerleader :)
Really enjoyed this — they myriad of reasons you give are the myriad of reasons why I write and read blog posts–
Happy Birthday!
Happy belated birthday! I hope you had a fabulous time and enjoyed cake :) I think your two blog specials are filled with great advice. I hope it reaches those “thinking about it” and moves them to the “let’s do it” plan of action. I’ve enjoyed following your blog and look forward to where you take it in the coming months. Be well, Rian!
Thanks, Kristy! I may have overdone it on the cake front, but I don’t regret it one bit :)
Well, this has come at a perfect time since I just recently started my little adventure into the blogging unknown. I’ll pack up your advice and take it with me. Bonne fête!
Best of luck on your adventure. Keep it up & enjoy the ride!
I was recently introduced to your blog, and I’m so glad I found it! Happy birthday!
Happy belated my friend. I certainly did like reading both this and the 1st part. I can always appreciate when others are trying to help. I think one of the biggest things for sure about blogging is finding a community. I liken this process into finding your crowd at the lunch tables in high school only this time around the high school cafeteria is so HUGE. Just gotta find the right people to chat with and in your case perhaps eat cake with. I will definitely pass along this read to many of my clients.
Cheers and enjoy 31
Hey Shawn, love your cafeteria analogy. Plenty of cake to go around here–come back any time. And thanks for sharing my post, I appreciate it! Take care.
Such great advice! I have to say that the beginning is the hardest….figuring out what to write, finding your own style. The most fun comes out of having a blogging community, no matter what size. I love that there are tons of people out there being vulnerable every day and it’s up to us to reach out and connect ;) Happy belated Birthday!
I have been thinking about writing a blog for about a month, and I have done a little reaserch. However, I have not come across anything as honest and helpful as this. Thanks for the advice!
Thanks for the tips, I just started a blog 5 months ago. I woke up one morning with the random idea of starting a blog, i did even have a clue what a post was but im getting there now…
Just recently started blogging. And i wish i read this the morning i woke up and decided to write, would have saved me a whole lot of turmoil! :)
Best of luck on your blogging journey–enjoy the ride :)
thanks! :) looking forward to reading more, writing more and discovering more! :) cheers! :)
First off – happy WAY belated birthday!! And now. This is just getting spooky. I feel like you’re reading my mind, only, you say it so much better than I ever could. I agree with Every. Single. Thing. You’ve said – and I’m so glad I found a like-minded blogging friend in you!
This part, in particular, really resonated with me: “It’s natural for people to want those around them to remain the same in order to continue fulfilling expected roles.”
this post is major, and kinda makes me want to make my blog way better… i’m always so pressed for time though! and sometimes i just try to get posts out as soon as i hear about something cool/relevant to my blog! What are your thoughts on really careful, planned-out blogpost, versus really spontaneous blogposts?
Thanks so much for your advice Rian, just started up a blog myself and your tips are very useful!
-found a lot of good advice here! :D thanks Rian!
I started my blog when I moved back to the States from Australia, and wanted to have an on-line presence for future employers to find out more about me. Now, it’s evolved into a more personal journey – I enjoy blogging for the sake of blogging, and am no longer using it as a portfolio platform. It’s still early, but so far it has been very enjoyable and fulfilling! :)
Thank you for this post. I am starting a blog – and although the motive may be personal, I have hit a point of change in my life. I have found ways to find happiness and want to document this health/life journey. I appreciate your thoughts and enjoyed the read.
Thank you!
This post was great and perfect for a virgin blogger like myself! I absolutely adore your blog and your post has given me the courage to put myself out there and give it a go!
I really enjoyed this post. A lot of the stuff you discuss in both this post and your previous post on blogging are things I can completely relate to. As I was reading through, I thought “It’s like she is in my brain!” hahaha Well done!
Thank you so much, this post is very inspiring as I set out to find myself and my own voice through blogging. I look forward to the adventure and finding new friends with many stories along the way.
Thank you for the voice of experience. First post i have read with blogging advice and i think i found a good place to start!
Loving this- i am a newbie, and although your posts are from 2012- they couldn’t be more relevant.
thank you :)
This was really useful. Also, I was wondering, what if I have different writing styles depending on my mood. Does that confuse the reader?
Started yesterday, am very glad I came across these two articles. Today you are going to be the blog I reach out to, tomorrow, another one. Thanks :)
Just found your blog and it is great! What a wonderful writer you are. I can’t wait to continue to explore your archives. Thanks!
I love your posts! Blogging has really changed my life too! It was so refreshing to come across these posts today. As you probably know, some days the “give up” feeling can hit a blogger like a ton of bricks. This was a nice reminder to keep going.
xxx
Good post. I learn something totally nnew and
challenging on sites I stumbleupon every day. It will always be useful to read content from other authors and practice something from other
websites.