
Photo: Sachin Khona.
Something’s been brewing out there. In the work I’ve been doing with my clients. In the world of social media. In conversations with family and friends. In the atmosphere. People are waking up. They are wanting more. They are beginning to believe that they can have lives that are different from the ones they’ve been sold. Easy lives. Free lives. Rich lives. Lives full of love and purpose.
There’s something I say regularly when I’m coaching and it never fails to stop people in their tracks. I went through the fire to learn it. I travelled to Australia, California, England and Spain seeking the answer. I went night diving, drank plant medicine, holed up in a yurt, sank into grief, rose up, lit bonfires, trekked through nature, fell in love, lead a retreat, road-tripped, got messy, got brave and had a hundred conversations about it along the way. It followed me everywhere, a constant question and then a mantra and finally (finally) a deep knowing.
For a long time, I thought it was just me who was seeking this answer. Along the way, I realized it’s a collective longing.
So many of us are trying to fix and better and change ourselves. We read books and do programs and strive at work and check boxes and run marathons and over-apologize and choose partners who want us to be just a little bit (or a lot) different. We work really really hard to be worthy. To be loveable. To love ourselves.
All of that trekking and searching showed me that we’ve got it completely backwards.
We don’t have to do anything.
We are already worthy.
These three words changed my world:
You are enough.
Right now.
Just like that. Just as you are.
Self-love isn’t an intellectual thing. It’s a soul thing.
You are enough.
You don’t have to achieve a thing to be worthy.
You don’t need to be fixed.
There is no part of you that needs to be fought or killed off or surrendered. It’s all allowed to exist. The critic, the slacker, the clutz, the bitch, the over-indulger, the fuck-up, the freak. Lean in and love them all.
Here’s the secret, the thing it took a giant, loss-shaped wake-up call and years of contorting myself to learn:
When you stop beating yourself up and accept all of you, you become powerful beyond measure.
All of that energy you’ve been expending to change, look good, push through, please others? You can have it all back.
You can love big and accept the flaws in others. You can forgive easily because you’ve forgiven yourself. You can say no and mean it.
You get to rise up from the bowing, toiling, accommodating, making do and sacrificing to your actual glorious height.
You are mighty tall. And mighty beautiful.
When you love yourself, you stop trying to get there.
Because you know: There is nowhere to get. There is nowhere to arrive.
You are already home.
Welcome.

Categories: Universal Truths
I recently found your blog and I’m really enjoying it. This is a great post and so important for everyone to remember/recognize. Thanks for this. :o)
Welcome, Allegra :) I’m glad it spoke to you.
Loved this post. Being in my early 20’s I feel like I’m constantly striving to feel more adult like, but I get discouraged and down on myself seeing other people surpass me in careers, life achievements, etc. or just knowing that I’m not where I feel like I’m supposed to be.
“Because you know: There is nowhere to get. There is nowhere to arrive.” really resonated with me and reminded me that theres no road map in life that you have to follow. I don’t have to be in places that I feel like everyone expects me to be.
Thank you for that.
You sure don’t.
Beautiful post. Made me cry. Arrived not a moment too soon.
I’m glad it was right on time. Thank you for sharing my post. <3
Like Brooke, I also feel that constant striving, and it can be so easy to get caught up in comparing myself to others.
Thank you for such a beautifully written post with such a beautiful message.
Reblogged this on The Bold Bluebonnet and commented:
Another beautiful post from one of my favorite bloggers. Encouraging. Therapeutic. Awakening.
Beautiful, Rian – perfectly captured as always.
Thanks, Sarah. xx
“You are already home.” So lovely.
I genuinely enjoy your writing. It’s very real. Inspiring as well. Not for show….so refreshing. Thank you for your thoughtfulness.
We can’t be reminded of this enough. We hope to be our authentic selves and we don’t find her by rejecting who we are and trying to fit in to what’s out there . We find her by paying attention to who we are and seeing how to live through her uniqueness, imperfectly perfectly human. Your love pours into your words Rian, and they love us deeply. What’s better than that?
Good words … isn’t it odd, how we must sometimes jump through some pretty complicated hoops, just to discover the most simple wisdoms? If not at home within your own self, then where else?
We have a knack for making things harder, don’t we? It’s usually the simple answer. The place where the love lives.
“The place where the love lives.” Perhaps the most poetic sentence I’ve encountered in a very long time. Thank you!
I definitely needed this today! I have been beating myself up about all the things I’m not and all the things I haven’t done or have “slacked” on and when I pause for just a second I think “gosh, all these thoughts are quite exhausting!” I forget quite often to repeat this to myself, so it’s nice to be reminded.
Ha, I love how perfectly you phrased that. They are exhausting, aren’t they?
I needed this today! Thx!
I got here because of the blog “The Heart’s Quest” where a post about this article was published.
Thank you so much for this message. Even though it’s not as bad as in the past, I constantly try to do better and be better and this post really helped to make me realize that while I can still thrive to be a better person, I’m enough and not faulty.
And it’s the first post I share in my personal Facebook account because I’d like my friends to see it too :D
Have a great day and thank you very much!
Thank you for sharing, Monika. Nice to meet you! I’ve found that the counterintuitive thing about self-acceptance is that you become your best self without having to strive. ‘Doing’ becomes easier without the self-defeating soundtrack. And our realness, not our perfection, is what makes us so rad.
Love, love, love your blogs. Beautifully written.
P.S. here is my story of learning to be enough, if you have time to read it https://lorirensink.wordpress.com/2015/05/22/whispers-of-love/
Such true and beautiful words. Thank you.
“You are enough.” So simple and yet so perfect. You’ve hit the nail on the head once again, Rian. Thank you for the reminder and thank you for just being you.
so here i sit trying to reconcile your truth, ‘You Are Enough’ with my feeling of expending too much energy holding myself back and being the ‘more’ i believe i can be. perhaps, through some kind of metamorphosis your truth becomes my belief. thanks for the thought experiment.
That is great! You have found that answer! I have most of it down most of the time. I still slip, but I forgive myself and move forward. I feel the power and when I miss having someone next to me to share all of that I realize that I have never had someone there who CARED to share all of that. I have dated women who cared. I have met people who cared. And, yes, it is growing. It is increasing and this was predicted…this world is in for some real eye-opening changes very soon. The children today already kinda know about it. They will BE IT!
Thanks…I needed to hear this again.
I will be using a line our of this post for my #1 quote of 3 day challenge.
I will also add the link to it.
You are so on your way.
Thanks for being so very special, accepting yourself, and allowing me to follow along.
Scott
By the way, I have nominated you for the 3 Quote 3 Day Challenge. Easy and fun. Go to my last post to check it out.
I definitely needed to read this this weekend – thank you, Rian!! I’m so happy you’re back to blogging and so looking forward to hearing more about your recent journeys (literally and figuratively).
Jules! Wanna have a phone date? I think we have a lot to catch up on.
I love when the Universe directs me to exactly what I need to be reminded of in the moment. So thanks for your post ~ it’s been a couple weeks of forgetting that essential truth.
Well said Rain. I always say that you have to want yourself more than anything else in this world and as long as you have yourself you have everything, the rest is just jam and confirmation of your awesomeness. I hope everyone takes this advice to heart.
I just found your blog and I am truly impressed by your words. I think it is something we all need to be reminded of sometimes, thank you!
A Hopeful Wanderer
Thanks for reading! Welcome.
Truth and Cake- Yes! I found this blog mere minutes ago and have been pouring through it unable to stop. I have just joined the world of blogging, and much of what I am writing about and want to write about is the truths that you so beautifully and simply describe here. I have an index card on my mirror that literally says, “I am enough”. It has taken me years and some hard and painfully earned scars to finally start to believe that statement. And now, I believe it enough to write a blog, to share my deepest thoughts with the world, because I know that I have something to say. Something that might possibly one day help someone else believe that they are enough. I am thrilled to have stumbled across your blog and will follow it with deep respect and warm regard.
I’m glad our paths have crossed. Sending love as you speak your words.
Reblogged this on FairMindedIdea and commented:
This. I don’t have the words to describe how incredibly important and powerful the truth in this post is.
Looking forward to your profound insight. Thx.
Really enjoyed your post, it could not have come at a better time.
I love good timing ;)
Beautiful piece. Thanks for the encouraging words.
Fantastic read! I can relate to & enjoy reading someone else’s insights similar to mine from a different point of view. Mine tend to be humorous and sarcastic. You’re a nice dose of just what I needed! Thank you.
I can be found at: http://www.ohthatwoman.com
-Me.
“When you stop beating yourself up and accept all of you, you become powerful beyond measure.” Wow, love it!!
Perhaps the first and only time that I will ever hear anyone say, “You are mighty tall.” ;)
I loved this. Thanks Rian!
Hey, that’s the gretseat! So with ll this brain power AWHFY?
Your words are full of encouragement!
Wow, I am in awe. Today I needed to hear those three words, so thank you.
Beautiful :) I decided to take by my energy and my power a few months ago and boy does it feel GREAT! Loving and Living each and every day is a beautiful gift.
very inspiring post! self-worth is such a tricky, fragile concept, and your thoughts are truly meaningful! as college students, my best friends and I really appreciate inspiring writing such as yours and look forward to hearing more of your thoughts. we hope you’ll give our new blog a look as well to hear about our adventures as college aged bffs! xoxo AIE https://thingsthatcomeinthrees.wordpress.com/about/
this was an inspiring post, and your blog is just fantastic overall. if you have time, i’d love it if you checked out my blog. thank you!
Reblogged this on Internal Writings and commented:
I love this post and it’s all about acceptance. Accepting myself is something I have recemtly “discovered” and boy oh boy what a relief! I love this so much I’ve reblogged it.
Reblogged this…..because it is wonderful and I was meant to read it. It’s reinforced my own recent realisation of “I am enough”. Thank you Rian.
This is a powerful post. I’m certain that whoever reads this will feel inspired and better about themselves.
I’ve been visiting your blog quite often, by the way. I hope you’ll check out mine as well, thank you!
Love this post!! And your blog!! :)
The truth has been spoken. I’ve recently started writing a blog, and it’s been full of love, support and frustrations. Thank you for this post! And please do check out my blog as well! I would love some feedback! :)
Reblogged this on OPERATION HAPPY and commented:
Great blog, great gal, great encouragement.
This post is everything. I am also feeling the change in vibration, trying to get the message out. We are kindred spirits.
Yes exactly….Iess zombies EVERYWHERE! …can actually have great conversations with strangers in lineups now! ….So when I snap my fingers you will AWAKEN!….wouldn’t that be awesome? 💖
Reblogged this on From the Heart of Lacey and commented:
Read these beautiful words and feel the power.
Thank you. Those words aren’t nearly enough, but I cannot express how grateful I am to have come across this post. You are enough. Wow, just so powerful. Just the words I needed.
This is such a great example of the Law of Attraction!
Earlier this morning I was typing out a similar post for my own blog. It was about self love.
Rian, I started reading your posts from yesterday. Your blog has truly made a difference to me. Thank you. And all that you’ve said here is absolutely relatable and worth voicing to the world!
Shared on my facebook page, such an important message you said it so clearly and wisely. Thanks for sharing.
Thankyou so much for this girl! i so needed to hear it because lately i have been feeling really inferior and ugly.i live in a shelter in NYC right now,surrounded by people with jobs and money and i struggle with mental issues and i was looking at your blog and im like shes pretty,she works,she has alot of followers,and your post made me feel better
thankyou!
Your words are full of wisdom and inspiring. It’s the first time I read blogs and so far pretty good. I just started my own blog and hopefully I’ll get comfortable and confident soon.
Hi,
I totally understand the point in this blog. The above a said is all true when a person has whole freedom and control on oneself. But here in my country India its crazy like until marriage or even more the parents make decisions for everything in 65% of the cases.
What I want to mention is people do not feel “you are enough” for themselves until they are first themselves. Concluding today is my first day in blogs and this is my first post reading. Thanx for the good one.
Such a great post. I’ve been in lots of therapy this past year and understand this perfectly. We are all works in progress learning to love the spot we’re in and the person we are in this moment of our life. Thanks for sharing your beautiful wisdom with us.
Love this! Great words and beautiful advice.
Merci pour ces mots. Aujourd’hui, plus qu’hier, il est important de lire des messages comme celui-ci…
Merci pour le partage