Sometimes my ideas are too big. They spill out of me, unformed, cawing for my attention, lacking the necessary detail that imbues them with clarity and life. There is nothing innately meaningful about the thoughts, “Women can be so competitive” or “Perfectionism is a real bummer.” But these big ideas keep tumbling out, refusing to take shape and find a grounding point. I went for a walk along the water, trying to create smaller ideas, little hooks with which to bind my too-big, racing thoughts. Ideas don’t really mean anything unless we can forge a connection between them. If I can’t make you see the exact blue-green-black shade of the sea as I walked through the cooling, late afternoon wind today, you aren’t going to be emotionally invested. And if I can’t make that sea somehow relate to a sea you once walked beside, or longed for, or are longing for still, I shouldn’t expect you to care enough to come along for the ride.
So on a day like today, where my ideas are too big, I think about how we all have ideas that don’t work. Ideas that suck. Ideas that we can’t latch onto tiny, real-life moments. It happens in writing, in business, in politics. And I say, good. Tell the truth. Think smaller. Give me a tiny story about the sea and the way the wind tastes and the people holding hands but not speaking. Not what you ate for breakfast, but how the hot sauce burned your tongue and your eyes teared up and you snapped at your husband. Too often, we focus on the big: “What does it all mean?” or the truly mundane: “I went to the grocery store and bought dog biscuits.” Life is small. It’s in the details. It’s in what you make of those details and how you express them to others. So don’t tell me about your plain, boring eggs or your life changing revelation. Tell me something real.
If you want me to care about your car, or your novel, or your new app, give it to me short, sweet, and specific. That’s what Apple does so well. And Instagram. It’s why the VW ad was a hit. It’s why your favorite writers are able to form the words you can’t in order to say the very things you are thinking.
Because they know where the truth lies. It’s in the moments where we stop trying so hard to be something big and allow ourselves to be minuscule. Interesting. Real.
Nicely said, Rian. x
Nice. Like it a lot. Keep on writing please and forming the words I can’t!
You did it again Rian, and definitely spoke for me. I drive a Mini Cooper, so small but oh- so FAST.
I also drive a Mini Cooper! A white and black convertible. Great minds think alike ;)
Yep, I’m a mini driver too.. Gunmetal Grey, Cooper S called Charlie :)
Charlie–I love that name for a car :) Mine is called Nigel.
Reblogged this on beautylosopher and commented:
I am speechless- that is how close to home this post hits. Marvelously put. Everyone must read.
Every morning, I’m too lazy to log into WordPress, so I just check my email for all of my blog subscription updates. And every time I read one of yours, I end up feeling compelled to log in anyway just to “like” it. :)
Thanks for logging in to say hi :) I really appreciate it.
No, thank you for motivating me to do so! I actually posted something today for the first time in 3 weeks as result. Haha. I just love your blog. :)
This was exactly what I needed to hear this morning! I suppose you could say that I am a “perfectionist” and so I get VERY frustrated when I can’t fully express my ideas or intentions. That usually happens because my ideas and intentions are way to big! Thanks for the encouragement to keep things “small” and find the enjoyment and pleasure in that. Great post and, as always, beautiful writing!
I can also be a perfectionist, especially when it comes to writing. It’s something I’m working on. But that flood of big ideas can be a signal to stop pushing so hard, relax, and start somewhere small. You’ll always come up with something if you go “smaller.” I’m glad you can relate. Have a nice day!
Well said! I have this problem often when I’m writing…so many ideas floating around. I usually just jot them down and hope that someday they will come to some kind of fruition. Thanks, xoxo
Sheesh, my list is long. And yet, I still stare at it some days and think, “What the heck were you thinking when you wrote that down?” We just have to hope that one day, we take a look at an old idea and go, “Aha, now I’ve got you!” ;)
I want to improve my own writing. Thanks for your recommendations. I’m reading Lamott’s Bird by Bird.
I enjoy the ebb and flow of your sentences. I wonder how long it took you to get where you are in your writing?
Shorter deeper sentences the reader can touch, taste, hear, smell, and see is my destiny.
Great post, once again! I listen to all the writers and think, “Someday, I will be one!” Then, I realize, “I am!” I’m just different and need to find my niche and make it work for more people. Then, as that is too big an idea, I simply realize that all I need to do is to keep doing what I am doing and enjoy it along the way. Others will, too.
Scott
It’s tough to figure that out, isn’t it? Everyone has an opinion about how to be a “writer.” I think you’re on the right track, though. There’s no point in watering yourself down to appeal to more people, unless your main goal is to have a huge audience (which does seem to be the primary goal of many bloggers). Better to find your voice and the people it naturally attracts. Would you rather have a worthwhile conversation with a few people or a bland one with many? But there I go, giving my two cents on “writing.” ;)
Hi,
I just recently started reading your blog, when I came across it on freshly pressed. I have to say, well done :)
This particular entry left me with two thoughts that relate directly to my current life intentions. One is a quote and the other is an idea.
The quote, also in a blog i recently posted about authenticity, is from Sri Sathya Sai Baba- “If you intend to speak, think- Is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind?…” I simplify this to “is it true, is it kind is it necessary?” This quote can really help me to confine my ideas.
And the idea, is that meaningful connections whether they be personal, professional, marketing etc. are based on several small interactions rather than this idea of one big statement. The more I think about that idea and how it applies to real-life I can see how all of my closest relationships and my biggest professional moves have evolved from this concept.
All the best!
What is Freshly Pressed and how is it used? Thanks.
Hi Steve, here’s a link to the freshly pressed posts: http://wordpress.com/#!/fresh/. WordPress selects ten posts a day to feature on this page. It makes sorting through the thousands of blogs a little bit easier, since they do all of the reading for you ;) It’s hit and miss, but I’ve discovered some great blogs through fp. And that’s how I got to know so many of my lovely readers.
I really like that quote. We often say things we wish we could retract–if only we could have that little saying playing on repeat! The “kind” aspect doesn’t specifically come into play in this post, but it is something I think about often while writing. How can I help rather than chastise? What can we all learn, what are my own weaknesses? Small interactions vs. big statements in the personal and the professional–very interesting. Maybe you should write something about this. Thanks for sharing!
I hope to some day wrap my little ideas around the big idea of “little interactions” If I do, I’ll let you know I’ve managed. For now, thanks for the inspiring blog to read.
Thanks. You’re almost as good as chocolate cake. ;-p
You are AMAZING!
That means a heck of a lot coming from someone as talented as you are, Kenna ;)
Wow! I can relate. This is a teachable moment I will forever cherished.
Thanks a lot for sharing, Rian
Thank you for reading!
How right you are! I’m in the same boat… I come to a post with huge ideas and struggle to wrap my little arms around them. And wouldn’t you know it, but the stories that are the simplest are the ones that mean the most to people. Another fine post, Rian.
“The stories that are the simplest are the ones that mean the most to people.” Thanks for that observation, Jessica. It’s so easy to lose sight of that while we chase our big ideas!
i got goosebumps after reading your last line..i must say u write awfully well! and yes, many times i do wonder where do these words that i am at a loss for spring to the other writers’ minds? and the answer as you have so wonderfully put it, lies in the truth.
it is true when they said that life isn’t about the number of breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away :)
Hi Ria (we almost have the same name! ;) Thanks for the kind words. Nice quote, and so true.
haha yes! hat was the first thing i noticed after reading your blog! and thank you :)
Another awesome post. You’re right – it’s so easy to get caught up in the completely mundane or the overwhelming ‘big’ (like turning 30 in less than 2 weeks. OMG. ;)), and good authors can really tap into that ultimate truth and connect with their audiences.
I turned 30 in October. Have no fear. It’s great! It means you are a fabulous, young-at-heart, real live ADULT. Happy early birthday, Jules!
Love the VW ad to illustrate your point.
Dare I say, it was all perfectly put into words.
Thanks :)
It’s why we react to the little girl down the well faster and with more attachment than to large disasters. It’s why i think God is in the details, otherwise the concept is far too big to grasp.
Yes, what a perfect example. When a large disaster strikes, we are most moved by the image of a single person struggling to stay afloat. We can identify with a small story much more easily than a big one.
LOVE! So smart and true. That’s why I adore quotes, I do like reading whole long novels and articles and blogs as well, but the things I constantly latch onto are that one tiny phrase or several sentences that just says it SO well!
I also love quotes–I have pages of them typed up for when I’m in need of some inspiration. Sometimes people ruin a perfect sentiment by saying too much ;)
I keep pages of them saved on my computer as well! : )
Very nice small moments reflected here. You make a difference.
In short, this post hit home. Speechless!
I think of this when I read the post above “the moment’s depth is greater than that of the future…” Rabia. Yet too often we don’t capture the depth of a moment for fear of missing out on what the next moment might bring, ie the future. I fall prey to thinking too big. When I began writing, I knew I wanted to write a novel, and when I would sit down to write, it was with the intent of writing a novel. That would stop me in my writing tracks, paralyzed with “writing a novel”. Thinking small reminds me that a novel is made of chapters, of paragraphs, sentences and words…each one contributes, each is a step in the right direction. Your summer post brought me here, however, thinking small and realizing I’m the expert of my own experiences are moving me through that paralysis that is a chronic condition….to keep writing and thus, save my ass (I adore that phrase btw :) I may have found you on the freshly pressed page, but I continue here because of you and your writing; inspiring us all and spurring us to enjoy the truths and let go of the truthful lies we all live by.
Thank’s so much for this post. I needed to read this.
I’m glad! Thanks for subscribing.
Wise words, well said.